How to Gently Improve Your Relationship With Yourself and Your Body

Posted: Mar 05 2016

A guest post from Dannielle Archer, Little Miss Moderation.

Even Carrie from Sex and the City knows it - the most important relationship you will ever have in your whole life is the one you have with yourself. Think about it - who is the one person who is always going to be present in your life? YOU. Wouldn’t it make life easier if instead of beating yourself down and being overly self-critical, you could learn to be your very own supporter, encourager and best friend?

Once upon a time, ego was a dirty word. Self-pride was frowned upon, and by goodness, if you loved yourself you were just downright conceited! But in the last decade there has been a shift in our collective views on the ego and self-confidence., and many of us are now recognising the importance of self-love. We’ve realised that striving for constant perfection and berating ourselves for not achieving it, is simply not conducive to a happy, peaceful life. We’ve realised that comparison truly is the thief of joy, and we’ve realised that loving ourselves is the only way to be truly happy and free. But unfortunately, it’s not a simple as we’d like it to be - there is no magic wand, and it takes time to reverse years of learned habits. So where do we start?

Firstly, let’s look at self-love and what that means. I like to think of self-love as a compassionate and kind attitude towards yourself. Self love is about being your own biggest cheerleader and your best friend. It is definitely not about thinking that you are better than anyone else, or putting others down to make yourself feel better. In fact, self-love should not only bring a more compassionate understanding of yourself, but also of others and the journey that they are on in life. Self-love and acceptance teaches us that everyone is struggling with something, and we have no right to judge or label anyone or anything because we will never truly understand anyone else’s life journey and experiences.

Here’s a few simple tips and tricks you can incorporate into every single day, to improve your relationship with yourself and with your body.

Smile when you look in the mirror.
When you look at a friend, do you have a look of discontent on your face, or are you smiling? Most of us look in the mirror every single day, and most of us probably aren’t smiling back at our reflection! Smile not only at your physical body, but look yourself in the eyes and smile back at your heart, and your soul. You are a beautiful person, inside and out, and you’ve got this. Look at your body, look yourself in the eyes, and smile at the beauty of you. Even if feels weird - just smile!

Realise that anyone who puts you down is simply struggling with their own stuff.
Mean, harsh words tend to stick in our memories more than the compliments we receive. But recognise that anyone who puts you down is simply struggling with their own self-confidence, and they’re projecting their insecurities onto you. Don’t let anyone make you feel small or less than perfect - learn to accept that it is their issue, and not yours - and let it go.

Surround yourself with people who will lift you higher.
Ever found yourself surrounded by friends or family who are constantly picking on their own flaws and putting themselves down? It’s not uplifting to be around people like that. As much as possible, choose to be around people who don’t complain constantly about their weight or their nose or their hair. And, in turn, set an example for others by being that person. Be someone who lifts people up and be a role model that others can aspire to. Not only will you be a magnetic person to be around, you’ll also find true peace and happiness by unconditionally loving and accepting yourself.

Dannielle Archer is a naturopath, blogger and health enthusiast. Her website and philosophy, Little Miss Moderation, is about getting back to basics, doing whatever feels right for YOU, and listening to your body. Self-love is an incredibly important and overlooked factor of health and happiness. For more information, and to download her free e-book, visit

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  • Posted by beck on March 08, 2016

    such an amazing writer! would be very interested to read more from little miss moderation!!

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